The realization hits immediately like a ton of bricks, his gut sinking. His expression tightens. He turns and looks very, very ready to just walk back out...
But his feet don't move. His chest aches too much. That should be even more reason to leave, but he's never been good at acting on reason.
A hand comes up, rubs over his face, pinches the bridge of his nose and then flops down. Much in the way... he sort of comes over, still stopping a good few feet away before he just flops down onto the floor in defeat, legs crossed and looking much like a huffy child who was just told a child's most hated word: No.
... and apparently this is all the invitation needed for one of the other cats to crawl right into his lap, purring and pressing its head aggressively into a hand.
Slowly, tension leaks out of him. His expression softens a bit. Hesitantly, he gives the cat a small pet.
It seemed he wasn't going to answer that question. Maybe he's stalling, maybe he's digesting all the implications in that question and her tone of voice.
Finally, eyes firmly on the feline snuggling up to him, he mutters,
She looks up, watching him digest the answer. Heh... she's seen that look on his face before. He never was good at letting things (people) go. Never that much different from Vi (and herself), in that regard. She hates it as much as she finds some comfort in those reminders of back then. She hates him being here as much as she finds herself so very glad to see him...
Her eyes sting.
"Yeah? Guess... this place really does have a way of throwing surprises at some of us."
Jinx finds it easy, suddenly, to slide the cat off of her lap. She slowly stands, tired gaze on the door. She's somehow torn between staying and going, so she chooses to start walking. Through the door, her steps slow. Something about this - about Ekko - has her entire body buzzing with frustration. And yet, there's this threat of apathy trying to pull her down. Protect her... from herself.
"Look for John. He'll help you get some of your stuff back," she calls over her shoulder, barely turning her head as she does. Ekko might get an uneasy feeling about her going off to be alone.
"If that's such a surprise, you really don't know me."
There's something considerably tense in his gaze as he says that, and he looks up when the cat is removed. His eyebrows raise up, and he too pushes his own furry charge off of him to hurry to a stand.
"Seriously?! I get here, come to talk for once and you just— run away?!"
He walks after her, making a point of it:
"The first time we've had a conversation that didn't involve beating each other bloody in years?"
Jinx feels it says less about how well she knows him, and more about how rotten their world really is. She shakes her head, but doesn't bother to respond to the first part. He knows as well as she does what it's like where they come from. Ekko's the closest there is to pure good.
Sure his hands aren't perfectly clean, but they're also not drenched in blood, like so many others.
He comes after her, because of course he does. And those questions... they probably should piss her off. But all she feels is a bitter laugh creeping up her throat. Without turning around, she stops walking, head tilting back as she asks, "Where am I running to, exactly, Ekko? We're on the same prison ship..."
As though she hasn't already scoped out countless places to curl up, where so few would be able to find her. She lets out a breathy, wry laugh, shrugging weakly.
"What do you want me to say? 'Hey, so sorry 'bout blowin' ya up, buddy!' Heh..."
She wants him to lash out more. To make her pay. To hurt her... as much as she ever hurt him. To prove there's no chance of redemption. Spinning towards him, she shoves him back, putting as much strength behind it as she can manage. She hisses the words out, lacing each one with as much venom as she can manage.
"All you'll get out of talking to me, Boy Savior, is reminders of everything you failed at! You couldn't save me, just like you couldn't save Vi, Vander, or even your dad!"
Pink tears stream down her cheeks; she's... not yelling at Ekko.
As if this ship wasn't big enough she couldn't find a place to hide away from him for awhile.
And then, his brow furrows deeper, just before she turns towards him, eyes widening and body tensing just before he's shoved back, stumbling back.
He breathes heavily as he stares at her, right before his gaze darkens at those words.
Eyes narrowing, he straightens up and marches towards her, looking for all intents and purposes that he's going to get violent...
He stops right in front of her. Looking into those pink eyes. The pink tears. The way her skin almost seems translucent. ... her nose had been broken, at some point.
It dawns on him. If people here classified as inmates had their "powers" taken... Jinx had a little muscle on her, but not much. She'd be completely outmatched with him.
She feels... strange, when he marches towards her. Her body is rigid, and there's a flash of regret, of something resembling guilt. Her shortening breaths pick up in speed, and... that's it, apparently. The question earns a sudden scream out of her, the years of overwhelming pain. Desperation, fear... It pours out as she slams both fists into his chest.
"Aren't you!?"
Isn't he DONE with her!? Doesn't he consider her a LOST cause?? So why isn't he taking the bait?? Why is he being so... so— Another scream of frustration.
"You've got... no right... to lecture me on just doin' what everyone else does to me, in the end! If you all aren't lying, you're just waiting for an opportunity to walk away! The ONLY one who was there was Silco, and even he—!"
Even he lied to her. Betrayed her. Would probably trade her to the Pilties for his dream of Zaun. Her fists are barely hitting Ekko's chest, if he's letting her continue to do that, but the agony in her voice only grows stronger.
Despite being the one who was advancing, it's him flinching when his ears are suddenly assaulted and his chest is beat on. It hurts, but he's taken far, far worse before.
His hard frown stays on his face throughout her rant. He does not, in fact, stop her.
It's at that final question, he grabs her wrists, but not roughly.
"The hell do you think I was doing all those years, Jinx?! Begging you to leave that old bastard for the fun of it?"
But he knows.
He knows he gave up too quick. He knows he stopped trying too fast. It'd come crashing down on him like a ton of bricks during the last moments of their fight.
"What do you want me to say, huh?!"
His hands start to squeeze her wrists, but he lets go of them like he touched hot iron before it comes close to actually hurting her.
"You want me to say I fucked up? That I should've tried harder? That I should have—" His voice catches a bit, "should have believed in you when you willingly went with the man who killed my dad?!"
A tear leaks out. He stands there for a moment, breath faltering, before he swallows.
"Because I did, you know. I did, but I..."
Vi believed in her. Vander would have.
Why was he always such a damn coward?
Finally, he just shrugs weakly and shakes his head.
"But nothing," he finally says, voice barely above a whisper. "That's all I got.
"I fucked up. I should have tried harder. I should have believed.
Assuming it is always one thing, while outright hearing the words is another. Jinx is taking several steps away from him, trying not to let those three words taunt her into yet another spiral, but there's no stopping the perpetual damage. Suddenly she can't look at Ekko directly, the flash of colors over his face causing her to flinch. The warped grin on his lips isn't real... It's not real... It can't be real.
Stop.
... Please... stop.
Jinx feels her throat tightening, burning.
One trembling hand moves to her head before she takes more steps away from Ekko, finally finding her voice.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The realization hits immediately like a ton of bricks, his gut sinking. His expression tightens. He turns and looks very, very ready to just walk back out...
But his feet don't move. His chest aches too much. That should be even more reason to leave, but he's never been good at acting on reason.
A hand comes up, rubs over his face, pinches the bridge of his nose and then flops down. Much in the way... he sort of comes over, still stopping a good few feet away before he just flops down onto the floor in defeat, legs crossed and looking much like a huffy child who was just told a child's most hated word: No.
... and apparently this is all the invitation needed for one of the other cats to crawl right into his lap, purring and pressing its head aggressively into a hand.
Slowly, tension leaks out of him. His expression softens a bit. Hesitantly, he gives the cat a small pet.
It seemed he wasn't going to answer that question. Maybe he's stalling, maybe he's digesting all the implications in that question and her tone of voice.
Finally, eyes firmly on the feline snuggling up to him, he mutters,
"Inmate."
no subject
Her eyes sting.
"Yeah? Guess... this place really does have a way of throwing surprises at some of us."
Jinx finds it easy, suddenly, to slide the cat off of her lap. She slowly stands, tired gaze on the door. She's somehow torn between staying and going, so she chooses to start walking. Through the door, her steps slow. Something about this - about Ekko - has her entire body buzzing with frustration. And yet, there's this threat of apathy trying to pull her down. Protect her... from herself.
"Look for John. He'll help you get some of your stuff back," she calls over her shoulder, barely turning her head as she does. Ekko might get an uneasy feeling about her going off to be alone.
no subject
There's something considerably tense in his gaze as he says that, and he looks up when the cat is removed. His eyebrows raise up, and he too pushes his own furry charge off of him to hurry to a stand.
"Seriously?! I get here, come to talk for once and you just— run away?!"
He walks after her, making a point of it:
"The first time we've had a conversation that didn't involve beating each other bloody in years?"
1/2
Sure his hands aren't perfectly clean, but they're also not drenched in blood, like so many others.
He comes after her, because of course he does. And those questions... they probably should piss her off. But all she feels is a bitter laugh creeping up her throat. Without turning around, she stops walking, head tilting back as she asks, "Where am I running to, exactly, Ekko? We're on the same prison ship..."
As though she hasn't already scoped out countless places to curl up, where so few would be able to find her. She lets out a breathy, wry laugh, shrugging weakly.
2/2 - i'm so sorry Ekko
She wants him to lash out more. To make her pay. To hurt her... as much as she ever hurt him. To prove there's no chance of redemption. Spinning towards him, she shoves him back, putting as much strength behind it as she can manage. She hisses the words out, lacing each one with as much venom as she can manage.
"All you'll get out of talking to me, Boy Savior, is reminders of everything you failed at! You couldn't save me, just like you couldn't save Vi, Vander, or even your dad!"
Pink tears stream down her cheeks; she's... not yelling at Ekko.
no subject
As if this ship wasn't big enough she couldn't find a place to hide away from him for awhile.
And then, his brow furrows deeper, just before she turns towards him, eyes widening and body tensing just before he's shoved back, stumbling back.
He breathes heavily as he stares at her, right before his gaze darkens at those words.
Eyes narrowing, he straightens up and marches towards her, looking for all intents and purposes that he's going to get violent...
He stops right in front of her. Looking into those pink eyes. The pink tears. The way her skin almost seems translucent. ... her nose had been broken, at some point.
It dawns on him. If people here classified as inmates had their "powers" taken... Jinx had a little muscle on her, but not much. She'd be completely outmatched with him.
Finally, he says,
"You done yet?"
no subject
"Aren't you!?"
Isn't he DONE with her!? Doesn't he consider her a LOST cause?? So why isn't he taking the bait?? Why is he being so... so— Another scream of frustration.
"You've got... no right... to lecture me on just doin' what everyone else does to me, in the end! If you all aren't lying, you're just waiting for an opportunity to walk away! The ONLY one who was there was Silco, and even he—!"
Even he lied to her. Betrayed her. Would probably trade her to the Pilties for his dream of Zaun. Her fists are barely hitting Ekko's chest, if he's letting her continue to do that, but the agony in her voice only grows stronger.
"Why does everyone always lie or give up on me??"
no subject
His hard frown stays on his face throughout her rant. He does not, in fact, stop her.
It's at that final question, he grabs her wrists, but not roughly.
"The hell do you think I was doing all those years, Jinx?! Begging you to leave that old bastard for the fun of it?"
But he knows.
He knows he gave up too quick. He knows he stopped trying too fast. It'd come crashing down on him like a ton of bricks during the last moments of their fight.
"What do you want me to say, huh?!"
His hands start to squeeze her wrists, but he lets go of them like he touched hot iron before it comes close to actually hurting her.
"You want me to say I fucked up? That I should've tried harder? That I should have—" His voice catches a bit, "should have believed in you when you willingly went with the man who killed my dad?!"
A tear leaks out. He stands there for a moment, breath faltering, before he swallows.
"Because I did, you know. I did, but I..."
Vi believed in her. Vander would have.
Why was he always such a damn coward?
Finally, he just shrugs weakly and shakes his head.
"But nothing," he finally says, voice barely above a whisper. "That's all I got.
"I fucked up. I should have tried harder. I should have believed.
"But I didn't."
no subject
Assuming it is always one thing, while outright hearing the words is another. Jinx is taking several steps away from him, trying not to let those three words taunt her into yet another spiral, but there's no stopping the perpetual damage. Suddenly she can't look at Ekko directly, the flash of colors over his face causing her to flinch. The warped grin on his lips isn't real... It's not real... It can't be real.
Stop.
... Please... stop.
Jinx feels her throat tightening, burning.
One trembling hand moves to her head before she takes more steps away from Ekko, finally finding her voice.